John's Last Wish

He should never have ignored the blood in his urine. But my father-in-law was a proud man: a barrel-chested former Marine who didn’t care for doctors and was sure that his health and vitality would continue for many years to come.

When John finally went for a checkup, his condition was misdiagnosed. By the time he was correctly diagnosed with Stage 4 kidney cancer, the disease had spread to his lungs and he was told he had just a few months to live. He was 69 years old.

As his body was wasting away and he was ravaged by pain, he longed for one simple thing. He mentioned it to me with a sincere longing and a far-away wistfulness: the thing that topped his bucket list during his final days.

As the end approached, John didn’t want wealth or fame. He didn’t dream of a bigger house or a fancy car or a trip around the world.

He didn’t even ask for more time to spend with his family, although that’s something I know he dearly would have wanted. His family meant everything to him.

What he desperately craved, but wasn’t allowed to have, was … a root beer float. That’s it: The cool taste of root beer, topped by a scoop of vanilla ice cream in a nice frosted glass. That’s what his parched tongue was aching for.

He longed for that cool, refreshing drink because his mouth was unbearably dry. But I wonder if perhaps there was a little more to it than that. Maybe on some level this drink brought back memories from his childhood, sipping a root beer float on the front steps of his parents' home on a warm summer day.

Whatever the reason, that cool drink was something he craved. But instead of root beer, he had to make do with a few pieces of shaved ice on his tongue.

I read an article about the ancient Romans who died when Mount Vesuvius erupted in 79 AD. In their final horrifying moments, the wealthy citizens of Pompeii clutched their jewels and other treasures as the ash and hot lava engulfed them. Their jewels could do nothing to save them.

My father-in-law understood all too well how futile their jewel-clutching was. At the end of our life's journey, all the riches in the world are useless. When our body is withering and our tongue is sandpaper-dry, we would trade everything for a simple pleasure that soothes our agony.

John would tell us to appreciate these simple pleasures right now, while we can. In the end, they’re worth more than gold or diamonds.

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Photographer's Footnote: I photographed these cool, refreshing waves hitting the rocks on a hot day in Maui, Hawaii.